My scandalous case during orientation

HEAaaa....

Orientation in RI(JC) has just ended. I got some story to tell u all.
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Quite unbelievable though that I can be in love by some random chance. It was all started by some random rumor by one OGL. He told everyone that I like this one sweet girl.

Each day there is only one thing they say about me, which is that unbelievably favorite rumor. On why that is the only thing, I don't know.

Nevertheless, God told me that she is not mine. At this time round, as I've heard the rumor for tens of times, I was somehow infatuated by her. I feel quite disappointed, coz she is actually a very nice girl. Those pigs just do not know how to treat her properly.

Desperate enough to forget about this unnecessary infatuation, I kept praying strong. One thing I remember: He said the process would be PAINFUL.

Remarkably painful; that is what I can say. By any means, I was mentally suppressed forcefully. It was really a hard time; it had to reach my limit until I got the result. Another hour, and I would have exploded...

And in the end, He took that feeling away. I was watching the storyline, and suddenly there is this unbelievable comfort and joy in my heart; I heard He said, 'It is done. Now, u are no longer infatuated.' I was really happy then, until one time I decided to play around; I tried to 'get closer' to her, and everything that I have done through suffering turned out worthless... I am now badly infatuated w/her, worse then before.
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What is it now?